Monday, February 16, 2009

Welcome campers

A reader sent me this story idea on the premise that he remain anonymous lest it hurt his chances of getting in to a popular bike race in the future.

Every since a few popular pros did the Pottawattamie Pounders double century, the number of entries in to the race have been obscene and each year the organizer must limit the number of entries.

This year LTS (Lemming Training Systems, not Landis Training Systems) has teamed up with race promotor Ken Floyd to offer 40 guaranteed positions in to the race for the low cost of only $1250. Your $1250 will not only guarantee a race entry, but entitle you to a 2-day camp, preparing you for the Pottawattamie Pounders double century.

I was lucky enough to score an interview with myself over this partnership and thought others might enjoy the conversation:

Lemming: It seems each year there is a lot of heartbreak for people wanting to do the race and getting denied via the "lottery", is it fair to guarantee a slot in the race for a bunch of extra cash?

Coach Lemming: Definitely it is fair, everyone has an equal opportunity to pay me for the camp and get in to the race. I'm not excluding anyone willing to pay. This will be a great opportunity for anyone wanting to succeed in the Pottawattamie Pounders double century.

Lemming: So what will you cover in the camp? Is it as easy as riding your bike a lot before the race and just keeping the pedals turning the day of the race?

Coach Lemming: No, it's way more complicated than that. We're going to be riding the actual course, but over two days instead. We'll also cover which sport drink you should use, how to ride the crucial parts of the course, how to put on a rain jacket and proper bike fit. I will give you secret insider tips on how to get past the halfway point of Chlouber Mine, the best gear to climb Columbine Pass with, how to not make your heart rate monitor read 255 as you go past the powerlines outside of town, and how to triumphantly finish as you ride down Pottawattamie's famous Boulevard.

Lemming: Will riders be riding their own bikes or will you have bikes available for them?

Coach Lemming: Riders are always welcome to bring their own bikes, however we will have 20 Trek Y-Foils on hand for an extra fee. I highly recommend renting the Trek Y-Foil as it's not often you get to ride a bike born from jets.

Lemming: Are there going to be any big names in the race this year?

Coach Lemming: We were hoping to get the grand poobah of cycling Lance Armstrong here this year, but he's probably going to be over in Europe winning his brazillionth Tour de France. Chris Carmichael was another one we wanted to do the race, but he'll be doing the Leadville 100 on August 15th. We may have to settle for Tyler Hamilton.

Lemming: Have you learned anything from your years doing the race?

Coach Lemming: Absolutely! I learned that I trained for it wrong the first few years. I was going out and riding my bike for long distances and neglecting speed. I found that doing that made my endurance great and I could ride all day, but I was slow and that wouldn't fulfill my goals. To reach my goals I had to mix a lot of fast riding in there.

Lemming: Should it instill confidence in potential clients that a coach trained wrong for a race?

Coach Lemming: Definitely it should. Being a ex-pro I have many tools available to me, but I've proven that even being an ex-pro wasn't enough to achieve my goals until I applied the correct LTS principles. It's not about just any plan, it's about adopting the correct LTS plan, and executing that plan.

Lemming: What's you vision for the future of this race?

Coach Lemming: This year I have 40 people paying me for a spot in the race, there's no reason it has to stop there, and I think Ken Floyd is open to gifting me more guaranteed entries. I envision a future where everyone, including our grand poobah Lance Armstrong, goes through LTS for a spot in the Pottawattamie Pounders double century. I love helping people succeed and can see no better opportunity than that.


Nick said...

Over-priced exclusive races... hmmm... I see a trend forming.

Time to support your small local races and make them great races.

Stevil said...

Curious that there was no mention of the comped flask that also was 'born from jets'..

UltraRob said...

Great information about the Pb er Pottawattamie Pounders double century

Team Rider 3 said...

Funny post, and only a little bitter.

Another funny blog: Team Two Wheel Blog

All the advice you need, from Dr. Spalm.

BikeLemming said...

Pb? [wink]

Nice blog Team Rider 3!

Team Rider 3 said...

BL - Thanks! We haven't figured out what we are going to do about links, but I will be reading your site and will add yours if we add a links section to our page.

Rider 3