Friday, February 6, 2009

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

This blog could have been named my plan for a greener tomorrow, but that's a dumb name. So really, was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? No! Well, it's not over now! After watching the Day After Tomorrow and hearing all of the talk of global warming I had the VW Bus all packed and ready to head to Mexico where it will stay warm after tornadoes hit Los Angeles, 100 foot tidal waves hit New York, and a new Ice Age envelopes only Canada and the United States. That was until I received a message from frilly chick that shook the world as I knew it.

The message was quite simple, it was that she was going to do an indoor triathlon and was wondering if I had any tips for her. The first thing that came to mind was "don't do it". But then I thought about the little mouse above. Sure, he'd like to be outside playing where he'd d have a happy life until a hungry house cat throws him up in the air multiple times before devouring him, but he's also happy indoors, and he probably loves his little wheel. Even though he's sitting in a cage littered with shredded newspapers and his own feces, and the only attention he's paid is when his water or food is empty, his wheel to nowhere keeps his mind and body happy.

So I had to be proud of frilly, she was doing a swim, bike, and run to nowhere, but it made her happy. However, as all happy thoughts go, I got to thinking. With the number of health clubs in the US, the number of cardio machines at each club, and the work everyone puts in, why not use this untapped resource for a greener tomorrow so that I personally do not have to move to Mexico when the new Ice Age envelopes only Canada and the US? Do we really need to watch a little red dot go around the track on an exercise bike plugged in to the power company to make us happy?

So I started concocting my plan. That plan is cardio machines with generators on them. Entire health clubs will run on their own power and even feed power back in to grid so we can stick it to the man! Not only that, but the generators will be alternators from old junk cars, thus reducing junkyard waste, damn I'm smart! When my plan takes off, we can even feed in to the egos of certain athletes as we hold contests through Bicycling magazine and RoadBikeRider to see who can generate the most power in a day, in a month, in a year. There would be a monthly membership fee, but in-store credits would be given for amount of power fed back in to the system. With the in-store credit a person can buy merchandise like hokey t-shirts with my brand name on them.

Admittedly I'm not the first one to think of this. There are entire plans to make a bike/human powered generator here and there was even a huge bike-powered cell phone charging station at the Coachella Music & arts Festival. So alas, I'm simply a visionary with no real knowledge of the subject, kind of like Al Gore. My lack of knowledge will be just another example of the man keeping us down. All I can do now is leave us with the only known picture of frilly chick.


Anonymous said...

At least I'm not sitting in shredded newspaper and my own feces.

Nick said...

Frilly: Good point - that is unless you bonk during the race, shit yourself while crashing into a newspaper stand.

BL: I read an article a while back about African cell phone charging stations. They use guys on bicycles to charge the phones by the lot. Imagine a giant table full of power strips and cell phones. Then some dudes in the back round doing intervals.

I will try to locate the article, it is deeply nested in my company email.

Anonymous said...

Nick, I only wish I were that fast.

BikeLemming said...

An interesting twist to 24 Hour races could be that teammates had to charge your bike light batteries in the pits via bike charging station....