Tuesday, February 10, 2009

In case you can't make the SkirtChaser 5k

In case you can't make it down to Tempe to chase some skirts, my endless combing of the internet has come up with another option for you. If you've been to any bike race, you know that guys outnumber bike women at least 5 to 1, and your chances of landing a date with a the lone single biker babe are worse than getting struck by lightning.

With those odds, any lonely Valentiner with a PayPal account should jump on the chance to win a date with the beautiful women of Punk Rock Cycling. The auction says, "If you win this auction, the girls of PUNK ROCK CYCLING will treat you to a fabulous evening of food and drinks. Anywhere you want. Any day you want." The auction is set to end Feb-13-09 10:58:13 PST. When I win, we'll be flying to Paris for Valentine's Day.

I assume the girls of Punk Rock Cycling will arrive in Paris for our rendezvous by UPS Ground as that is the shipping and handling method specified on the auction. I've always wanted to ship myself somewhere via UPS, packed only with a water bottle and some bananas for sustenance, and one of those portable toilets used for camping. The girls of Punk Rock Cycling can be the guinea pig for my theory of cheap travel. If it works, I might be coming to a city near you!

Before max-ing out your credit card to land one, or all nine, of the Punk Rock Cycling babes though, it would be wise to heed the advice Lemming reader Nick gave waxing poetic on the SkirtChaser 5k, "Imagine how a dog track dog feels after chasing a rabbit it can not catch in it's mouth. It's only reward? Nothing.

I see a parallel here. ;)"

Of course, the reward in this case isn't nothing, you still get a "wicked fun evening" of dinner and drinks with the 9 women of Punk Rock Cycling, and that is definitely worth the $237.50 that the auction is up to at the moment. Honestly, that's less than $27 per woman, much less than even a standard dinner and movie date, and won't you look like a ladies man out with them all? It will be the perfect picture for your Facebook page, that's chapter six of my e-book!

As always, I didn't want to be duped and I wanted to be clear on the meaning of "wicked" before bidding. I turned to the Urban dictionary and was surprised to find that the term wicked apparently started in New England (watch the video, it's worth it) and must be used as an adjective before an adjective. In case you are confused, I found this great example in the Urban Dictionary:

"That wicked cool car is wicked fast is owned by that wicked old guy, who drives it wicked slow when it's wicked hot out, which makes me wicked sad cause I'm wicked broke and I got to walk a wicked long way."

So, after perusing the hella (synonym of wicked) cool Punk Rock Cycling site, the lemming's wicked personal pick is the wickedly hot and wickedly sexy Keely Shannon, she alone will be invited to the wicked tight after-date party. Not that the others aren't probably a lot of fun, I'm sure they are, I'm just a one-girl sort of lemming.

Anyway, to get the girls some press and get the bidding up on their ebay auction, here is the text from their site, happy bidding!
The girls of PUNK ROCK CYCLING are looking for that special valentine! With the upcoming race season just around the corner, this may be the last chance the girls on PRC will have to go out on the town and have a ripping good time. Just one problem… we need a date.

If you win this auction, the girls of PUNK ROCK CYCLING will treat you to a fabulous evening of food and drinks. Anywhere you want. Any day you want.

Each girl on PRC has a challenging calendar of races coming up, and those races can get expensive. With entry fees, travel costs, hotels, etc each girl on PRC will spend anywhere from $2000 to $3000 dollars through the year on bike racing. This is why the money from this auction will go towards the team’s costs that they have through the year.

Place your bid now for a wicked fun evening with the girls of PUNK ROCK CYCLING!


Nick said...

Ugh.. wicked is by far the worst effin phrase ever. The folks here in New England have held onto it dearly, like an old girlfriends panties.

Being a transplant and non-native to New England it irks me at the deepest level, when infact I should embrace the culture.

I can go months without hearing it, then it will appear in the worst accent you could imagine followed by a few red neck yumps. Damn it! get a new phrase.... I could live with That's HOT!

BL: Thanks for giving me a place to vent about this. I feel a relief coming over me.

BikeLemming said...

That's what I'm here for... :)