Friday, January 2, 2009

My new e-book, how to ride better by actually getting out on your bike

The lemming was gone for awhile, but I wasn't just slacking. Seems like everyone is jumping on the coaching bandwagon these days, scrubbing cash from the poor souls who feel the need to be punished simply for riding their bike. Because it's no longer Christmas and I'm no longer in the giving spirit, I've decided to write my own new e-book to get in on this boom market. "How to ride better by actually getting out on your bike" is destined to be the next New York Times bestseller, and it would be best to get one early before they disappear.

In the first chapter I'll shatter some misconceptions and explain how simply thinking about upgrades, reading bike magazines, and posting on forums won't make you faster. In chapter two I'll reveal my secret ideas for actually getting out and riding your bike, making a coach virtually obsolete. Chapter three gets down to the nitty gritty and shows you how to pedal correctly without using silly and expensive things such as PowerCranks. In chapter four I'll give you other ideas about what to do on your bike if you don't have a power meter display to stare at and specific "zones" to hit.

In chapter five I'll give you hints about how to mingle at parties and not bore non-bikers with stories about your Trek Madone and the Pottawatomie Pounders Century you are training for. Chapter six reveals secret MySpace and Facebook profile creation tips that will allow you to blend in with, and maybe even attract members of the opposite sex. In chapter seven we crash a roadie and a mountain biker in a tightly controlled lab and answer once and for all if shaving your legs helps in case of a crash. In chapter eight I reveal the truth behind men wearing pantyhose in the winter to stay warm and how a pair of tights really doesn't cost that much when spandex looks silly enough already.

All in all, it's a whopper! And if you like this e-book, please check out my first, and wildly popular e-book, "How to lose weight by eating less".


Anonymous said...

I better get a dedication.

BikeLemming said...

How about an autographed copy?

"A" the "O" in Love said...

Love it - very clever Bike Lemming! A very amusing blog!

If you or your readers are interested, here is a piece on forgetting the "fancy schmancy" gear all together and just enjoying the journey - just like when we were kids:

LoveUbecause ... you were my first "real" bicycle!

Now let's hope all this snow and cold disappears soon, so we can all get out on our bikes and enjoy our ride, whatever the reason!