September is National Wave and/or Say Hi to Another Cyclist Month

Now that August is out of the way many of you may be sad. The riding seems to be nearing an end, the nights are getting short, and many of us are facing the grim thought of either riding the trainer or getting fat or both. The truth is, September is a great time of the year to ride. You might think the lemming is going to pontificate about the crackling of leaves and pretty colors and adorable squirrels hurriedly gathering acorns for the winter slumber, but no....

September is the time when most, if not all, charity rides are over. Not only that, but most CTS coaches have their athletes "cross training" at this time. This means that the cyclists you see out riding now are hopefully out there because they are loving it, not necessarily because they've been guilted in to finding at least $300 worth of pledges, wore out their welcome with friends, paid most of the pledges on their own, then fired up the old bike to ride the amount of mileage most of us ride just for fun. By the time the charity ride season commences, most charity riders are overtrained with the amount of fundraising they had to do and no longer riding, letting the bike hibernate until next season, sort of like this blog often does. And on the other end of the spectrum, CTS athletes are rollerblading, hiking, and doing "unstructured" workouts right now, anything but riding their bike.

What does all this mean? Well, charity riders might be some of the friendliest riders out there, but more hardcore riders seem to shun them as "freds" and really don't wave or say hi to them. In the context of a training ride it might be hard to distinguish a "fred" from another rider, or even to distinguish a CTS athlete from another rider. What happens then is all friendliness shuts down. No one waves, no one says hi, everyone is too stuck being way more hardcore than the next guy to even think about giving someone the decency to wave at them and acknowledge someone else loving the sport. It creates a "perfect storm" of unfriendliness.

But in September, with those two groups taking time off, you can wave or say hi to another cyclist and probably get a happy response, maybe even strike up a conversation with someone who shares the love the bike, here's how:


1) See another cyclist approaching

2) Remember what the lemming says, this is probably a friendly

3) Lift hand off handlebar and try to smile

4) Wave

5) See other rider's reaction


Don't be alarmed if not everyone waves at first, it might take some time for others to release their inhibitions. Don't worry, in the lone month you have to do it you won't overtrain your arm or grow unusually large muscles, that's a myth anyway.

If, by chance, you stop at a light with another cyclist, here's a great way to say hi.

1) Pull up to light with another cyclist, or see one pull up by you

2) Look at other cyclist

3) Say hi, or nice weather out today, or I like your Y-Foil

It's that easy! Some of you may not believe me, I've posted pictures of cyclists waving to prove that it indeed does happen. These do not look photoshopped, but then again, I'm no expert.

Lance withdraws from Leadville 100, Trek sees record number of attempted returns

LP - In what will be forever known as "Black Tuesday" in the cycling world, Lance Armstrong announced that he will not be riding this year's Leadville 100 on Saturday, August 14th. Lance pulling out of the Leadville 100, or "bailing" on it if you speak mountain biker, came as quite a surprise and its effects have been widespread. Nowhere has the effect been felt as strongly as at Trek retailers though, where many would be Leadville 100 riders are attempting to bring back the mountain bikes they just purchased this year to try and attempt the race with Lance.

Luckily for Trek and the bike shops who carry them, Trek is not in the business of mending broken dreams and bike shops are under no obligation to take a bike back simply because someone's hero bailed on a race that they never would have done otherwise. That hasn't stopped people from trying though. One Trek carrying bike shop employee who asked to remain anonymous said, "It's just terrible what we are seeing here. One bike reeked of Simple Green, while another had slicks, but the worst thing I think I saw was a handlebar mirror and aero bars on a Top Fuel. The things we are seeing just ain't right and really, I've been having nightmares about it."

But there are two sides to every story. When interviewed outside of a Trek retailer while trying to return his bike, Leadville 100 entrant Richard Cranium stated, "I can't believe they wouldn't take this bike back. I mean, it's never seen dirt besides at the CTS camp where my entry was guaranteed after not getting in to the fair and unbiased lottery. Besides at the camp, this bike has only seen the pavement and my Computrainer, it's in immaculate shape." Richard, a Phoenix resident, went on to say, "I've always heard there are some great mountain bike trails over on South Mountain, but I've never ridden them because my CTS coach told me I should do the majority of my training on the road as it helps me learn how to spin and build power. I guess if I have to keep this stupid thing I should go and try a few of them out, I guess."



Not everyone believes Lance won't be at this year's Leadville 100 however. Race co-founder Ken Chlouber is holding out hope saying, "I think he'll be here. If you just want my upfront bet, I'd bet you that he's going to be here." It couldn't be confirmed, but under his breath people thought Ken might have said, "He said he loved me, err, Leadville. Why would he not show up? He could bring his kids up to Leadville and support the race he said he loves even if his hip is hurting him too much and he isn't going to ride the Leadville 100. It doesn't make sense, I mean, Aspen to Leadville is only a 60 mile drive. I'm starting to think all of this was just a ploy to promote the Quiznos Pro Challenge."

Industry experts speculate that Lance Armstrong not showing up for this year's Leadville 100 could have long-term consequences, possibly even leading to the eventual economic decline of the city much like the silver mining collapse in the 1950s. Analyst Seymour Buts weighed in, "What Leadville had was a charming race with a lot of diehard regulars. With all of the hype around Lance you see a lot of people who would have never considered the race trying to do it just to be extreme, sort of like buying a Nissan Xterra when they first came out. Unfortunately this comes at a price and a lot of prior multiple Leadville 100 finishers had to be turned away, many of these prior finishers have turned their back on this race. It was a gamble and one can only hope that the new talent will become diehards, however with the attempted bike returns it is not looking good."

But not everyone is attempting to return their bikes. Lawrence Orbach, three-time self-proclaimed winner of the New York City Five Boro Bike Tour, says extreme challenges are what gets his juices flowing. "Just like Lance in the Leadville 100 last year, I set a record time in the Five Boro Bike Tour this year, no one is going to touch that record for awhile." The record time could not be confirmed by Lemming Press as the Five Boro Bike Tour is not a race, but a ride. Lawrence went on to say, "I don't care if Dave Wiens was almost a decade older than Lance Armstrong and basically time trialed all of his Leadville 100 victories alone. I also don't care if Lance brought in some of Trek's best mountain bikers to set a blistering pace while he sat behind them conserving energy so he could set that record time. So what, in the Five Boro Bike Tour I've used drafting for every one of my victories, I probably wouldn't have set a record time had I had to go it alone." Well said Lawrence.

No word on if the Leadville shrine to Lance Armstrong will be completed given the developments of Tuesday, as of press time on Thursday construction was still underway.

What's this, another post?

You bet it is!  The lemming was featured in the August 2010 issue of Rider's Collective magazine.

If you get a free moment check it out, Paul puts a lot of time and energy in to making the magazine and it's worth a read.

Training with an illness?

The lemming's only illness is being lazy.  Ever since the lemming went on a self-proclaimed hibernation and then just kind of abandoned his blog, things have been quiet over here. Every once in awhile though things will get the lemming riled up and thoughts of writing a new blog will cross his mind.

Take, for instance, the other day when the lemming rode in to work, went to use the shower, and a whistle eminated from the locker room toilet stall. Apparently there is an unwritten closet dumper code which allows recluse closet dumpers to alert other closet dumpers to not burst in to their secluded stall, thereby causing all sorts of embarassment to both parties which choose to avoid human contact when at all possible.

But the furry little monster can't write a whole blog on that. Hell, who wants their blog to be known as a closet dumper blog, this is about cycling after all, or at least the things about cycling and cyclists that rile the lemming up.

As some of you may know, the lemming gets spam email from Active.com on a near daily basis, and often he gets quite the laugh out of some of the pictures. Sometimes the lemming's mind is simply in the gutter, as it was today with the "Training with Illness" article.

Try to tell me that picture can't make you chuckle at least a little bit? Some of you won't get it, I'm cool with that. Stevil will.

Anyway, the lemming's next article is going to be on how "August is wave and say hi to fellow cyclists month". I know that will be tough for some riders, but we'll get through it. Or maybe it might "No one cares about your power numbers but you". That will be a tough one too and will require some to quit posting graphs to forums and falsely elevating their self-worth. I don't know, we'll have to see.

Thanks for your support, seriously

I have to take a minute and say thank you to everyone for their support... Even after an extended hibernation it's great to see people back... To be honest, I sat there this winter (while eating bon bons) wondering if I wanted to continue writing on this blog. It's the home of my more cynical thoughts, and while I have them often, sometimes I'm too lame or lazy to actually write them down. Starting a fun blog, and then not working on it, is almost like signing up for the MS150 and then not riding until the day before when you get slicks for your mountain bike. Once you get back in to it you realize how fun it was, but at that point you also have the epiphany that you should have been doing it more rather than sitting on your lazy ass.  This is because everyone is blowing past you as you struggle and look wantonly for the next Accelerade stop.

Thanks to Stevil for the quick note when I hadn't written in awhile to see if I ended in prison, fortunately no one wanted to swap race numbers with me only to have me get last place for them. To bikesnobnyc for always replying so quick to email, he responds to everyone despite his immense popularity, that's amazing. And to Steve A for being the first to quickly comment after my hibernation, or perhaps my bike's hibernation, as well as BadBeard to show he's still there as well on the next post. To Rantwick for his always amusing input, and I forgive him even if he is a closet dumper. Lastly to Cyclin' Missy for sending me an email with all the correct information to win my "contest", I'm glad you're a lemming groupee.

Anyway, bla bla bla, I guess the jist of it is I appreciate all of you out there who read the Lemming. I'll never be a regular poster because sometimes it's just a little too dangerous to rile up the lemming, but if you can handle the sporadic postings and my overall Fred-ness in the grand scheme of the blog world it will still be here. That's all for now, back to my soul-robbing, life-sucking job before my keepers beat me. Almost time to ride home if I can avoid the closet dumpers when I go to change.

Commuting: Beware the closet dumper

If you've checked back in to the lemming at all this winter you've probably thought to yourself, "wow, this blog has really gone down the shitter". Well... If you are lucky enough to be like the lemming, and most days I wouldn't say that since this fur is awful hot in the summer, but if you are lucky enough to be like the lemming, then the soul-robbing, life-sucking job that you work at actually has nice showers where you can get ready for work after riding your bike in. This is nice because the "Wet Ones" baby wipes bath that Bicycling always talks about does not work, and makes you look and smell like a freak. The showers are nice because it's only the lemming and about 2-3 other cyclists which ever use the locker room. However, this lack of use presents other scary problems, the problem of the closet dumper.

The closet dumper is a sub-species of homo sapien who is characterized by their shyness to use the restroom and the subsequent thought that someone might know they are going to the restroom to do the dirty deed. The closet dumper frequents bathrooms such as the locker room toilet since it's lack of use almost surely means they will not have to make eye contact or talk with anyone after coming out of their stinky stall.

The closet dumper shies away from heavily-trafficed restrooms much like a water buffalo shies away from crocodile infested watering holes, although the water buffalo does it because they're scared a lion will get them only to fight with a crocodile before the whole herd of water buffaloes comes back to save them. The problem is the closet dumper is a solitairy animal and no other closet dumpers will come to save them, their main social interaction is posing as a 15 year old in internet chat rooms.

What should you do if you encounter a closet dumper? Most times you will not have to do anything. Closet dumpers are deathly afraid of human interaction in the restroom and will avoid it all costs. Like most prey animals they have eyes in the sides of their head, this helps them to quickly scan the restroom for other users so they may quickly close the door before entering when they encounter a non-empty restroom. Every once in awhile a closet dumper will not exercise proper caution and walk right in to a restroom where you are changing. In this scenario the closet dumper will not make eye contact or say hi, they will simply wash their hands as if that's the reason they came in and then quietly leave, checking back in 20 minutes to see if the coast is clear.

Every now and then you might enter the locker room at the end of the day when you are getting ready to change for your ride home and encounter a closet dumper. In this case do not worry, you will not have to do anything. If you take less than half an hour to change, the closet dumper will simply sit quietly in the stall, hoping you are not alerted to his presence. If you are mean-spirited and take more than a half an hour to get changed just to make the closet dumper sweat, at some point the closet dumper will emerge from his stall like Puxatawney Phil, wash his hands, and quickly leave the restroom without eye contact or any social interaction.

Commuting with your bike to work is fun, it's good for you, saves money, and it's good for the Earth. Don't shy away from commuting because of your fear of the closet dumper. In most cases he is more afraid of you than you are of him. Despite their population in heavily-populated areas there hasn't been a single documented instance of a closet dumper attack on normal humans.

Waking from my furry little hibernation

It's been a long time since I wrote my last blog... At first it was due to hibernation, fattening my furry little self up and sleeping away the winter. Then it may have just been a lack of creativity. Not much gets me riled up these days, and without a sense of riledness I don't find interesting topics to write about. Maybe it's the run out of my Bicycling subscription, and the subsequent lack of renewing it on my part. I was hoping to get a complementary "lemming" subscription to Bicycling, but I never asked for one and no one ever offered, not even the Fit Chick. Regardless, my main catalyst for all things that ruffles my fur about cycling is gone and that leaves me to living a zen-like existence, still believing that Greg LeMond is a hero vs. a has-been crack pot.

So what gets the lemming fired up enough today that a new blog appears? That answer can only be SCANDAL. You might think I'm referencing the allegations made by Landis that he did now indeed dope, although he said before he was an innocent framed man. Or that he's tried to implicate the grand poobah Lance Armstrong, as well as some other big names. Well, if you thought that you would be wrong.

You see, the lemming thinks on a much smaller scale. The professional cycling world is great, but we're not professionals, and because of that we have to be concerned about the issues facing the peasants that we are in the grand scope of cycling surfdom. What has the lemming riled up today is the felony charges brought up against two women in the Leadville 100 because the registered woman became injured and let the other ride. I sent this over to the bikesnobnyc and was happy to see he picked it up as his reader base is probably a million times bigger than mine, especially after my extended hibernation.

It's no secret that the lemming is not a huge fan of the Leadville 100 race. From a lottery that really isn't a lottery, to charging a fee just to get in to the biased lottery, to giving coveted race slots away to CTS in return that athletes can pay them big money to bypass the lottery and get in to the race, to the organizer pulling strings to get certain people in even though they didn't make the biased lottery, to the "Race Across the Sky" movie that rocketed the little mining town to stardom and pumped a whole bunch of fan boys in to the running of the biased lottery, there is just a lot to shake your head about. But even looking past those things, seriously, felony charges because someone used another person's race number with their permission? That's going too far and for lack of better words, seems a little big for the britches.

Sure, that is against the rules, I know. The race is non-refundable, non-transferable, non-technical and about any other type of non you can think of. I don't want to speak like I know the full details, I've only regurgitated what other sites have mentioned, but it looks like one woman has been charged with felony conspiracy to commit criminal impersonation, while the other was charged with felony criminal impersonation. Sad, sad, sad...

What the women did was stupid, and I can say sandbaggers and cheaters aren't high on my list either, but I loathe the day that I want to see felony charges brought up against cheaters in a weekend warrior race, that opens the door up to all sorts weird precedents.

Of course, the DA bringing up all the charges is the same one who prosecuted Kobe Bryant. One of the funniest quotes I saw from this site said, "“I haven’t seen this criminal-impersonation law used much, but Hurlbert’s expansive application of the statute opens up some interesting possibilities. Given Hurlbert’s lackluster campaign for state Senate District 16 and his dismal fundraising, perhaps a special prosecutor should be appointed to investigate whether to charge Hurlbert with felony criminal-impersonation of a Republican Senate candidate.”"

To give Ken Chlouber a little credit, it does look like he never wanted felony charges such as that brought up on the women. It looks like he just put in a request for prosecution on theft of services for the $250 in race fees, $225 in awards, plus racer services, including aid stations, security, and a pre-race banquet. While understandable, it would seem that asking for the race fees and racer services is debateable seeing as how they were paid for, but I guess not by the woman who did the race with the paid for number, which is against the rules.

Anyway, enough of my babbling. Read some of the stories for yourself and decide if this is the type of thing you want to support in the future. Thanks to bikesnobnyc for giving this some national attention!

http://www.denverpost.com/ci_15043329

http://www.vaildaily.com/article/20100510/NEWS/100519950/1078&ParentProfile=1062

http://abusivediscretion.wordpress.com/2010/05/08/da-mark-hurlbert-charges-two-top-women-mountain-bike-racers-with-felony-criminal-impersonation-for-using-false-bib-number-in-leadville-trail-100-competition-snowball-prosecutor-strikes-again/

http://abusivediscretion.wordpress.com/2010/05/12/da-hurlbert-hints-mountain-bike-racers-dont-deserve-felony-or-jail-in-leadville-100-number-swap-race-organizer-chlouber-never-sought-jail-hints-settlement-at-hand/

Contest

Winter training is tough. in the early days I posted a plethora of ways you can stay motivated in the winter, including Strip-ervals, Beer climbs, Cycling magazine Lance intervals, amongst many more. In lieu of that, many people head to spin classes, which I've just never been able to understand, in my eyes spinning classes just suck.

In case those options don't do it for you, no worries!  Earlier this spring I posted a review of the Hawaii Rides Trilogy.  Now, out of the kindness of my furry little heart, I'm giving it away.  Here's your chance to virtually ride the Hawaiian Islands to some very cool scenery with the grimacing man. A $75 value, free to you if you win my very subjective contest.  This is probably one of the best indoor training DVDs I've seen produced. It's just different, and not a bunch of people sitting on indoor trainers riding to hokey music while close-ups of their cassette clusters are shown.

Anyway, so how about a contest to "raffle" this out to someone? It will be a mix of bike triva, music trivia, unrelated things, and totally subjective questions which have no right answer. Unfortunately, unless you are some sort of Rainman-iac genius you'll need to do a little Google work to come up with some of the answers, I apologize in advance for this. With my 3+-100 or so reader base you have a great chance of winning and getting hooked up with the cool schwag. Get the answers to bikelemming@gmail.com (or post the answers on your blog and send the Lemming a link) by Wednesday, March 3 and we'll decide a winner!


1) There are a few bike movies out there. Name as many as you can. Which is your favorite and why?

2) True or Fale, this phrase is really in a Kid Rock song, "My name's Kid Rock and I'm a Capricorn"?

3) In BikeSnobNYC's fictional interview of Lawrence Orbach, how did Lawrence execute his historic Five Boro Bike Tour win?

4) Belt out a clever caption for the picture below...  I'll add these responses to a later blog...

5) Essay question: If there were one ride that the Lemming should absolutely, positively do this year, what would it be and why?

6) What city is the Lemming's biggest reader-base?
a) Singapore
b) Seattle
c) Portland
d) Pottawattamie

7) True or false, bike_lemming is my Twitter account and I hate derailleurs.

8) When Dangerous Hicks performed his "Beer Cans of Death" stunt bike jump, what brand of beer cans did he successfully clear? Were they 12oz. or tall boys?

9) What is your level of indoor-trainerness experience?
a) I have to replace parts on my indoor trainer all the time, just last week I wore through the spindle, which I bought the week before.
b) I supplement my electrical bill with all of the watts I generate.
c) I find myself motivated to get on the trainer, a minute goes by, but it feels like an hour, so I stop, thorougly defeated.
d) I set up my bike on the trainer, but really I use it to hang clothes on, I'm tired of getting grease on my clothes.
e) What? You can ride indoors?
f) Other

10) If you win, are you willing to send Cycling Fusion an email letting them know you won it through this contest and give them a thanks?  Possibly even writing your own clever review for their product?

Looking back at this, my ability to write contest quizzes is even worse than my ability to blog coherently.  I wager that the contest will be a battle of attrition, with many entrants bowing out due to boredom and a throwing up of the hands "WTF" moments...  Get the answers to bikelemming@gmail.com (or post the answers on your blog and send the Lemming a link) by Wednesday, March 3,  we'll decide a winner, and someone will find the Hawaii Rides Trilogy showing up at their doorstep!

Happy to announce my first ever giveaway

Here at the lemming I'm happy to announce my first ever giveaway. My posting has been more than a little sporadic this winter due to my hibernation/prison time as Stevil calls it. Because of that I'm going to announce it today, post it next Wednesday, and then give people a week to get answers back to me.

Since the Lemming reader-base is about 3 readers, give or take a couple hundred, your chances of winnning are pretty good. Without revealing too much, I can say that the prize is something I've reviewed in the past and worth about $75. I don't believe in hanging on to the schwag I've been asked to review, it gives more publicity if I "raffle" it out. Or it could just be that I really don't "indoor train", regardless it will be your gain.

So stay tuned and check back next Wednesday (it will take me that long to write some questions) for the contest!

Seeing my shadow

Today I awoke from my long winter's blogging slumber, or as Stevil likes to call it, got computer time for good behavior. Whether I'll stay awake to continue blogging or head back to my long winter hiatus really depends solely on if I see my shadow or somehow find some motivation.

Running around to a few blogs around the internet I'm disappointed to see all the people disappointed that the Leadville 100 organizers were disappointed they had to reject their applications, even with the $15 application fee.  It's very disappointing.  If anything I was hoping my assumed role of Mr. Miyagi would convince people that despite the Grand Poobah of cycling Lance making a Leadville movie, there are still other cool races out there.  Leadville is a cool race, but it's not the end-all, be-all.  Oh well, Mr. Miyagi can't be all business all the time either.

My real reason for waking was that my music player happened upon some music I hadn't heard in awhile and I had to wonder where are they now.

Sure the voice is a little whiny, and it's not exactly intense, but the guitar is great and it's one of the better pieces of music to come out of the dismal 80s.  The 80s were dismal for music, for cars, for hairstyles, for fashion, and for just about everything.  Drivin' and Cryin' was the shot of lightning in the dark cloud we call the 80s.

The Innocent - Drivin' and Cryin'

Around the Block Again - Drivin' and Cryin'

And that's about it. I apologize if you were looking for something enlightening and bike-related. Until I fully awaken from my long winter slubber I will not have the capacity to enlist those services. Drop a comment and let me know how your long winter is going.

Leadville 100 to build new gymnasium/shrine to Lance Armstrong, a satire story by the Bike Lemming

If you are one of the 2-3 people who follow the blog of the Lemming, you know that he's been hibernating for the winter.  He hasn't died, it's just that when his bike gets put away for the winter he really has no interest in writing about cycling.  Nestled in his cozy little cave, the lemming is putting bon bons in to his furry little mouth while washing it down with cold cans of Bud, refusing to write a blog while in the deep state of hibernation.  Or so I thought...  The lemming seems rather cynical at times and I knew if anything was produced it would be satire, I was right...

Leadville, CO
In a surprise announcement today that never really happened, the Leadville 100 commission laid out plans for a new megaplex gymnasium in the litttle mining town which hosts the Leadville 100 mountain bike race.  Here at the lemming we were lucky enough to get a fictitious interview with race director Ken Chlouber about the new gymnasium.

Ken didn't say, "In the past the Leadville 100 was a small charming race.  It was about comradriere, it was about cheering on everyone, it was about bringing economic stimulus to a little broke mining town.  Well, it still is about bringing economic stimulus to a little broke mining town!  You know, in the past we had a website that looked like someone put it together for a high school computer class project, but now we've got a killer website out of San Francisco with lots of bling.  In the past people had to round up some friends and send in paper applications so they could get in as a group, now we've got the way cooler online applications and you can do the race by yourself!  We've been afforded a great opportunity to make lots of money thanks to Lance Armstrong and the Race Across the Sky movie." 

"Getting in to Leadville has always been a fair and unbiased lottery, where if you knew someone, did some volunteering, or were nice to me [Ken] you were sure to get in.  Last year we extended that level of unbiasness by giving away entries if you paid for an expensive CTS training camp.  This year we're going to change that up, we're expecting tens of thousands of entries due to the Race Across the Sky movie, so we're going to charge a $15 non-refundable fee just to try and get in to the fair and unbiased lottery for the race.  If we only accept 1,000 or so riders and 10,000 sign up, well, you do the math.  This fee will get us well on the way to building our new gymnasium!"

Plans for the not-proposed Leadville gymnasium are rumored to include a 10,000 sq. ft. shrine to the grand poobah of cycling Lance Armstrong and will house a "Hall of Lance" where, for a small donation to the LiveStrong foundation, cyclists can ride a modified indoor trainer to videos of Lance Armstrong saying "You're stronger than you think you are, and you can do more than you think you can" while a state of the art generator pumps power back in to the grid, crediting the electrical bill of the Leadville 100 foundation.  Kiosks will also be set up around the new gymnasium where athletes can enter a credit card and some basic information and receive a print-out of a full years Leadville Trail 100 training plan courtesy of Carmichael Training Systems.

When pressed about the race itself and presented with rumors from the internet that the course looked like a bunch of boring fire roads for 100 miles rather than an exciting race of twisting singletrack Ken did not canter, "The Leadville 100 is an extreme race.  You've got to be extreme to do it.  Didn't you hear in the movie where the pros such as Travis Brown said it was the hardest thing they've ever done?  Regardless, for those needing more we're adding the 24 Hours of Leadville this year.  As our website says, win this one and people everywhere will know your name!  And then once you win it, we're going to pit Lance Armstrong against you to try and defend your title, I'm just giddy with the possibilities!"

Mum was the word on if you could still buy your way in to the race by going to an expensive CTS training camp, however Carmichael Training Systems is now the "Official Training Authority of the Leadville Trail 100".  As to what that means the lemming is not entirely sure as Chris Carmichael was not available for interview, hopefully it is that acceptance in to the lottery and entry in to the race is only afforded after signing up for a Carmichael Training Systems training/coaching plan.

Stay tuned to the Lemming for more exciting news out of the little mining town of Leadville.

The lemming isn't dead, he's just hibernating...

Don't worry, the lemming isn't dead, he's just hibernating for the winter.  From time to time you still may seem him post if a wayward Bicycling article wakes him up from his sleep, but for the most part he's happily resting and hoping to entertain you in the spring.

This is cool if it wasn't for the hype

Back in August the lemming made the prediction that gran fondo would become the new buzzword in cycling, and in October he made the prediction that the Leadville 100 would become the new "extreme" race that every cyclist would aspire to do whether they had ever even raced their local 6 mile race or not.

Well, an email received from Active.com yesterday seems to indicate that at least the former is true.  And if you sign up a gran fondo type Centurion event you even get a free ugly-assed hat, yippie!

Combine the mass-participation buzz of a big-city marathon, the epic beauty of a European gran fondo, and the all-inclusive nature of a cycling century ride,
and you get North America's newest endurance sports events — Centurion Cycling.

Brought to you by the same people who launched the Ironman triathlon phenomenon, each two-day Centurion Cycling event will include three spectacular rides — highly challenging 100-mile and 50-mile efforts, and a beginner-friendly 25-mile affair, that also caters to those who prefer speed.

Brought to you by the same people who launched the Ironman triathlon?  Oh my, I'm tingling all over...

To be honest, the idea of a timed, mass-start century is sort of appealing.  No longer can the typical racer wanna-be leave early in the MS150 to ensure the "win" over all other competitors who really don't even know they are racing.  If you do a century, why not officially time it?  Unless of course you are really doing it for fun, to have a good time with buddies, and you like sitting at the aid stations checking out the hot cyclist chicks.

So what does something like this cost?  Well, let's just first go back to my price gouging spree when the lemming took over the Pottawattamie Pounders double century following a lucrative Google adsense campaign. My price gouging trip didn't seem to work, even with the free jersey offer the lemming got no one to sign up, oh well.

But the Centurion events are different.  The 100 mile Centurion event will only cost you $125 if you sign up early bird, normal registration is $150, and late registration is only $200!  That's only 17,534 yen at today's conversion rates! A lot of money to ramp things up for those lazy late people is required.

The 50 miler is $100 for early birds, $125 for normal, and $175 for late registration. (2250 pesos!)  The 25 miler is $60, $85, and $100.  Imagine paying $60-100 to ride the distance you bike to and from work each day, yikes!

Disregard anything I said about it being cool, in concept it is, until you see the sticker shock.  In these days of recession better deals are to be had.

But hey, what if money is no object and you want to be pampered, hell, you can fork out cash for that too!

For complete VIP treatment during Centurion weekend, treat yourself to the Centurion Plus upgrade, including an invitation to the Celebrity and VIP reception on Friday evening; access to VIP hospitality areas throughout the weekend; special VIP registration processing with no waiting in line; bike valet service at the finish line; and a VIP gift bag including a custom Centurion bike jersey by Sugoi. The Centurion Plus upgrade is $125. You may add one guest for the VIP reception and hospitality areas for an additional $50.

The lemming wishes he could tell people to save their money. Yeah, the events may seem cool and "extreme" and a "test of endurance", but if all riders fork out outrageous amounts of cash to simply ride their bikes and get a time each weekend what's to keep events from continually jacking up prices? The lemming could preach riding for fun until he's blue in the face, but people will still add the Centurion event fees on to their quickly accumulating credit card debt, all to simply do a ride that they could just as easily go out and do on their own each weekend.

Friday caption contest and picture roundup

With cross season well underway and most of the bike blogs out there talking about cross in full effect the lemming feels lost.  Honestly I can't get in to cross no matter how much I try to get excited, so I thought I'd try to fit in and at least combine cycling with another activity.  Since it can't be running, why not shopping?  Thinking that was an impossible feat, I was lucky enough to come across this instructable on combining a derelict shopping cart with a bicycle for a ride with ample cargo capacity.  Soon I too will be able to combine cycling with another activity and no longer feel left out. I may even jump off my bike to grab grocery items and then jump back on to continue pedaling.

Now that I've enlightened you to my fiendish master plan, let's do a caption contest.  This might get a little confusing as the picture roundup is also today, but directly below is our caption contest.

Lemming caption:

"Billy suddenly realized that this was nothing like doing it on PlayStation 2."

Not to be confused with the caption contest, let's get in to the picture roundup from the blogs I enjoy reading and that link back to the lemming.

Stolen with great intentions from DFW Point-to-Point

Stolen with great intentions from CycleSnack

Stolen with great intentions from Alison M. Starnes

Stolen with great intentions from All Hail the Black Market

Stolen with great intentions from All Hail the Black Market

Stolen with great intentions from All Hail the Black Market

Stolen with great intentions from Beginning Bicycle Commuting

Stolen with great intentions from Bicykel

Stolen with great intentions from Copenhagenize

Stolen with great intentions from Cyclin' Missy

Stolen with great intentions from The Everyday Athlete

Stolen with great intentions from Formerly Floyd Speaks

Stolen with great intentions from Rando Adagio

Stolen with great intentions from Road

Stolen with great intentions from Sheila Moon/Big Swingin' Cycles Team

Stolen with great intentions from Sonya Looney

Stolen with great intentions from Sonya Looney

Stolen with great intentions from Sonya Looney

Stolen with great intentions from Velocorapture

Stolen with great intentions from Xvelo Designs Blog

An oldie but a goodie

With cold weather slowly creeping in on us and much less for the lemming to write about when he's not riding as much, I found this on my desktop the other day and thought I'd share. It's an oldie, but definitely a goodie, anything with AC/DC and cycling is, enjoy!

1st crash from Bike Lemming on Vimeo.

If by chance it doesn't work in the feed, see the original here!

Friday caption contest, in to the gutter quickly

This could head in to the gutter rather quickly, so try to be creative before jumping to the obvious!



I'll start out...

"Damn, I know they said running tubeless at too high of a pressure would blow the tires off the rim, but this is ridiculous!"

Post your caption!

The tale of Skunky, the ass-in-the-air descender

Perfect Skunky position, front low, tail in the air

While Skunky can be either gender, "she" is used for this example.

Skunky can be found near the back of the pack in mountain bike races.

Skunky has grasped the concept of getting off of the seat while going downhill, however she locks her legs and stands tall with her front low. This is very attractive for mating, but not so effective for technical descending as the legs are not used as shock absorbers in this instance.

Skunky is a better-than-average climber and often yells things like, "come on!" and "I can't believe I'm getting stuck behind this!" or "get moving!", while battling on the climbs for near last place in beginner. Everyone would empathize with Skunky, if it weren't for this annoying habit. Any places Skunky gains on the climb are lost during descents.

Skunky usually won't yield the trail when faster descenders happen upon her, causing overtakers to maneuver the gnarly rough nasty stuff on the trail edge, more than likely because of frustration from passing them uphill only to be passed when it turns downward. She will often quote race directors and angrily yell, "races aren't won on the downhill asshole!", another annoying trait that makes people not feel sorry for Skunky.

Skunky can usually be found wearing knickers on an 80 deg day and is often riding alone. While it has never been confirmed, leading experts believe Skunky probably runs her tires at the maximum recommended pressure regardless of the course. With a little coaching it is possible that Skunky may be one day graduate to being so far behind the seat on the slightest of downhills that her bum may touch the rear tire, a huge improvement over her current position.

A pair of skunks in perfect Skunky position
While the position is correct, Skunky is rarely seen with another Skunky in the wild

Not a picture of Skunky

L.A.P.D.A.N.C.E.

Everyone gets to their breaking point, and the lemming finally got to his. That's why he has started L.A.P.D.A.N.C.E., which unfortunately means Lemming Against Previews Done As Newly Created Entries and not something more exciting. If anyone joins him the Lemming can become plural, at that point it will become L.A.P.D.A.N.C.E. - Lemmings Against Previews Done As Newly Created Entries. To be technical, this means setting your "RSS Feed" to be preview only and forcing people to go to your site to read the rest, that is BAD.

This all started because it's nearly impossible to go individually to every blog that the lemming wants to read, especially if he is doing his blog reading at work where "the man" keeps a watchful eye on him to keep him down and see if he's being productive. It's much easier to read full content in a "feed reader" and therefore fool "the man" that he might be working.

This all came to a head when the lemming thought the BikeSnobNYC, the grand poobah of cycling bloggers, had gone to preview feeds and thus had become a LAPDANCEe... A quick note to the Snob revealed he wasn't, he was simply having trouble with his feed updating and really wanted the full content in the feed. Unfortunately, not everyone has followed his lead.

In case you do not know what I'm talking about, here is an example of a preview feed:

This weekend kicked ass! I had the sickest ride of my life, I've never seen singletrack this buff! I was killing it! I even ran in to Alison Starnes. Here are all the pictures I took.....

[For pictures and the rest of the blog, please visit the full site at (insert blog name) here. If you are at work and can't go to the site because your boss is a soul-robbing lunatic too bad.]

A typical day when trying to read preview feeds, note the angry boss

A happy blog reader, reading all blogs in a feed reader

Nothing sends the point home like famous quotations, that's why I've taken some historical quotes completely out of context and massaged them to fit my selfish purposes of convincing you to do a full feed vs a preview feed.

"Ask not what your blog readers can do for you, but what you can do for your blog readers."

"We counted on our blog readers to be passive, we counted wrong."

"Content makes poor men rich; discontentment makes rich men poor."

"My favorite toast is rye toast."

A couple of readers wrote to the lemming with solutions for preview feeds, but it all sounded way more difficult than his tiny mind could grasp. If you have previously been doing preview feeds in your blog don't be ashamed, you didn't know, just change it now and we'll forget all about it. I hope these fantastic arguments have convinced you to join L.A.P.D.A.N.C.E. and that preview feeds are BAD, I can't take anymore of the lemming's complaining.

Friday fun, the picture roundup

Kick back because today's post is going to be a long one... I haven't done a Friday Fun picture roundup in awhile and let me tell you, I have a lot of pictures that I've been marking as I read Friends of the Lemming blogs which I figure I should get up here for everyone to enjoy.

But first, let's talk about Race Across the Sky. I kinda dogged on it a few weeks ago, but I did go and see it last night. I still stick with my initial analysis that it was over dramatized, and while difficult, it is just a race and there are certainly much harder ones out there. However, the movie was great and I'm happy to see the little mining town of Leadville getting the economic boost from Lance being there. Cycling could use more movies put together like this...



Still, as I watched the movie I couldn't help but think Ken Chlouber looks familiar. His man-crush on Lance was quite obvious and out there for everyone to see, touching him and giggling like a little school girl, but who doesn't swoon for a little stardom every now and then? But it's killing me, who does he remind me of?...

Hmm, maybe but not quite

Kind of, but still not quite what I was thinking...

That's it! I knew it! Station, from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey!

I couldn't help saying "Staaaatiooooon" every time I saw him. Every time he touched Lance I was on the edge of my seat, waiting for him to morph with Lance in to one big super creature which could fix stuff really fast. But I digress...

It was also a tremendous feat that Lance rode 7 miles on a tire going flat, but I had to wonder, the guy has said he rides 7 hours a day, surely he changes his own flat every once in awhile? I mean, he can't have a team car EVERY day?

Anyway, kudos to NCM Fathom for making a highly entertaining and very well produced movie, even if they did try to go a little over the top at times.

With that I'll spare you my words and move right on to the picture roundup. Normally I'd give you some music to listen to, but since there are SO MANY to post this week AND I was mentioned on BikeSnobNYC today we'll just cut right to the chase and get some pictures out there. ENJOY!!!

Pillaged from Bicykel

Pillaged from Alison M. Starnes

Pillaged from All Hail the Black Market

Pillaged from All Hail the Black Market

Pillaged from Beginning Bicycle Commuting

Pillaged from Beginning Bicycle Commuting

Pillaged from Bike Dreams

Pillaged from Bike Rumor

Pillaged from Copenhagenize

Pillaged from Copenhagenize

Pillaged from Curtis Corlew

Pillaged from Curtis Corlew

Pillaged from Curtis Corlew

Pillaged from Cycle Goddess

Pillaged from Cycle Monkey

Pillaged from Cycle Monkey

Pillaged from Cycling Obsessions

Pillaged from DFW Point-to-Point

Pillaged from DFW Point-to-Point

Pillaged from Everyday Athlete

Pillaged from Everyday Athlete

Pillaged from Formerly Floyd Speaks

Pillaged from Formerly Floyd Speaks

Pillaged from GT in LA

Pillaged from GT in LA

Pillaged from Lynne's Mostly Cycling Blog

Pillaged from Mellow Velo

Pillaged from Mellow Velo

Pillaged from MO7S

Pillaged from MO7S

Pillaged from OilCanRacer

Pillaged from Travels with my Mule

Pillaged from Rando Adagio

Pillaged from Road

Pillaged from Sonya Looney

Pillaged from Sonya Looney

Pillaged from Velocorapture

Pillaged from VeloLoser

Pillaged from Whirled Traveler

Pillaged from Xvelo Designs blog

Pillaged from Xvelo Designs blog

There you have them! I promise I won't keep saving them up for so long next time. As always, be safe out there, keep the rubber side down, and have one for me this weekend! I'm out...