Monday, October 26, 2009

L.A.P.D.A.N.C.E.

Everyone gets to their breaking point, and the lemming finally got to his. That's why he has started L.A.P.D.A.N.C.E., which unfortunately means Lemming Against Previews Done As Newly Created Entries and not something more exciting. If anyone joins him the Lemming can become plural, at that point it will become L.A.P.D.A.N.C.E. - Lemmings Against Previews Done As Newly Created Entries. To be technical, this means setting your "RSS Feed" to be preview only and forcing people to go to your site to read the rest, that is BAD.

This all started because it's nearly impossible to go individually to every blog that the lemming wants to read, especially if he is doing his blog reading at work where "the man" keeps a watchful eye on him to keep him down and see if he's being productive. It's much easier to read full content in a "feed reader" and therefore fool "the man" that he might be working.

This all came to a head when the lemming thought the BikeSnobNYC, the grand poobah of cycling bloggers, had gone to preview feeds and thus had become a LAPDANCEe... A quick note to the Snob revealed he wasn't, he was simply having trouble with his feed updating and really wanted the full content in the feed. Unfortunately, not everyone has followed his lead.

In case you do not know what I'm talking about, here is an example of a preview feed:

This weekend kicked ass! I had the sickest ride of my life, I've never seen singletrack this buff! I was killing it! I even ran in to Alison Starnes. Here are all the pictures I took.....

[For pictures and the rest of the blog, please visit the full site at (insert blog name) here. If you are at work and can't go to the site because your boss is a soul-robbing lunatic too bad.]


A typical day when trying to read preview feeds, note the angry boss


A happy blog reader, reading all blogs in a feed reader


Nothing sends the point home like famous quotations, that's why I've taken some historical quotes completely out of context and massaged them to fit my selfish purposes of convincing you to do a full feed vs a preview feed.

"Ask not what your blog readers can do for you, but what you can do for your blog readers."
"We counted on our blog readers to be passive, we counted wrong."

"Content makes poor men rich; discontentment makes rich men poor."


"My favorite toast is rye toast."


A couple of readers wrote to the lemming with solutions for preview feeds, but it all sounded way more difficult than his tiny mind could grasp. If you have previously been doing preview feeds in your blog don't be ashamed, you didn't know, just change it now and we'll forget all about it. I hope these fantastic arguments have convinced you to join L.A.P.D.A.N.C.E. and that preview feeds are BAD, I can't take anymore of the lemming's complaining.

8 comments:

frilly said...

That acronym is so freaking disappointing. For a second there, I thought we were about to par-tay! You at your breaking point & giving out lapdances. Now wtf am I supposed to do with $50 in ones?

Rantwick said...

Lemming - how do I ensure I'm not doing preview feeds in my blogger settings?

Frilly - That sounds so good I might have to supply a different meaning for that acronym... don't worry, I'll whisper it to Lemming so your mental image isn't wrecked.

jeff said...

And here I am with these ones!

Bike Lemming said...

Rantwick, you are doing full feeds or I would have let you know by now. :) You can check in your Blogger settings under Site Feed. You can also set this within Feedburner, but I don't know where. I want to hear your other meaning!

Frilly and Jeff, got somewhere in mind? I can be coerced. Unless Frilly, you don't want the lemming to lapdance, ever see Night at the Roxbury?

frilly said...

Only if you're sporting a medallion.

Psyclepathic said...

BL - Aagh, preview feeds! Join L.A.P.D.A.N.C.E. :)

Lucky - Okay, okay. when do I get my club card and decoder ring?

Bike Lemming said...

Can I lie and say it's "in the mail"?

healthy ashley said...

Yes, full feeds are the way to go!

Convenient acronym :)