Monday, August 31, 2009

From the mailbag

I hope everyone had a great weekend with some good riding. Today's post comes from the ol' mailbag.

Dear Bike Lemming,

Do women need to adjust anything, you know, down there while riding? I ask because on a ride the other day I saw a woman reach down in to her shorts at a stop before taking off.

Yours truly,
Gender confused



Dear Gender confused,

Thank you for writing to the lemming. The lemming usually does not address issues such as this, he can provide insight but suggests contacting the MellowVelo for a definitive answer as she is a woman and she rides.

That said, are you sure that she wasn't a he? If you are sure then there are many reasons you might have seen a woman reach in to her shorts at a stop before continuing a ride. It might be possible she was applying chamois cream (pronounced shammy creme).

Possibly more probable is that she was doing long-term saddle reviews for female anatomical saddles and was checking for numbness. Women can suffer from the same numbness men can and you'll probably see her review in an upcoming issue of Bicycling. Either that or she was adjusting something.


Next letter....

Dear Bike Lemming,

Now that Levi Leipheimer put on his "Gran Fondo", is "Gran Fondo" going to be the next big buzz word on the charity ride circuit and cycling in general for 2010?

Sincerely,
Vorrei essere un pilota moto



Dear Vorrei essere un pilota moto,

Thank you for reaching out to the lemming. Yes, it is the lemming's prediction that "Gran Fondo" will become the big buzz word in cycling for 2010. Expect to see a bunch of "Gran Fondos" popping up all over the country. As you may know "Gran Fondo" is said to mean "big ride" in Italian, although not literally. I should note that "Gran Fondo" will be a big buzz word in every country but Italy, there the buzz word will be "big ride" and you'll see "big rides" popping up all over Italy, because "big ride" means "Gran Fondo" in American.

Some other buzz word you should watch out for are:

malaking sumakay - which means "big ride" in Tagalog

tequila grande - which means "big tequila" in Spanish

Rosie O'Donnell - which means "big ride" in all languages

大型車 -which means "big ride" in Japanese

đi xe lớn - which means "big ride" in Vietnamese

سوار بزرگ - which means "big ride" in Persian

büyük yolculuk - which means "big ride" in Turkish

μεγάλη βόλτα - which means "big ride" in Greek

Thanks for the letters, the lemming might answer any more burning questions at
bikelemming@gmail.com

9 comments:

Steve A said...

Dear Bike Lemming,

Since you bring the subject up, is there any difference between chamois cream and "Chamois Butt'r?"

Is either worth what seems like it'd get messy & greasy?

BikeLemming said...

Steve A, the difference between chamois cream and chamois butt'r is the same as the difference between kleenex and tissues, the same as the difference between bandages and band-aids, and the same as the difference between coke and soda.

It can really help on long rides if you feel friction and burning, probably skip it if you never have that problem.

Nick said...

I love friction freedom chamois cream. It gives off a warming sensation.... sooooooo nice.

mellowvelo said...

Hey thanks for the plug. Just in case anyone asks you on the street, the first thing is DONT WEAR UNDERWEAR.

Carry on.

mellowvelo said...

Oh and your big ride translations made me laugh out loud. I'm pulling for the ones in languages we cannot even read.

mrbill said...

Hey Bike Lemming,

I'm sure you just forgot, the ZZTop group ride; "The Grand Fandango"

BikeLemming said...

Oh yes mrbill, thanks for keeping me on my toes!

stevil said...

Don't forget Большая болонья, which is Russian for 'the large bologna'.

BikeLemming said...

I didn't know you spoke Russian!