Monday, August 3, 2009

Women's triathlons, devil girls, and romantic weekends

This weekend was the annual women's triathlon over here in Pottawattamie. The problem was I didn't know the triathlon was going on as I headed over to the route I chose to ride this weekend. As I got closer signs and barrier fences started to emerge and dread started to come over my furry little body. Would I have to re-route? Would I not be able to resist the trainwreck and end up spending 4 hours watching people stumble out of the water as they ran clumsily to their slicked mountain bikes?

Luckily neither was the case and I was allowed to go about my ride directly on the course, which as luck has it is a recreational racer wannabes dream come true. See as a recreational racer wannabe you should always find opportunities to "test your mettle" against others. This course is also used for an annual time trial where recreational riders try to draft and follow and pass and pass out the paid racers as they go about their race. Stellar for the recreational riders, not so fun for the actual racers.

Luckily for most racers this weekend they were much faster than me anyway, I was left sad, alone and defeated, with only visions of race numbers sharpee'd on the calf. I guess perhaps I wasn't trying that hard, in the back of my mind I was thinking about tattooed Swedish devil girls. If you haven't read this story it's a weird one. 5 tattooed "devil girls" pulled a bloke off his bike and sexually molested him. I don't know what to think about the story, when I hear devil girls all I can think about is this guy.

Most guys will be quick to point out "what a lucky guy" and "I need to go ride in Sweden" as they envision the Swedish bikini team accosting them, to which most women will get disgusted with them, saying it's no laughing matter. But to play devil's advocate (pun alert), what if the devil girls are spitting images of the Red Devil above? Sorry for ruining the fantasy... Just to play it safe you should probably forget about trying to find the devil girls and instead spend a romantic weekend with Chris Carmichael.

Simply sign up for the wildly-popular CTS Create Your Own Comeback program and you can spend a romantic Valentine's day with CTS at a cycling camp probably learning things such as which sports drink is best, how to ride your bike, how to win the city limit sprint, getting tips on bumping in to friends on a grassy field and all sorts of useful information such as that. If you have a significant other, well, it's highly likely that you won't after you spend Valentine's Day at a cycling camp, and you may be out there looking for the tattooed devil girls after all.


Nick said...

How romantic will Chris get if I pay double?

Maybe romantic post-ride massage with a happy ending?

BikeLemming said...

Nick, that image is worse than 5 Red devil girls... :)

Cyclin' Missy said...


Joe Tysoe said...

Chris asked me to a cycling camp in Norway.

I said, "no."

BikeLemming said...

Joe, a romantic camp with Chris Carmichael in Norway? That's close to Sweden and the devil girls, you could have had the best of both worlds!