On the edge of my seat for the sequel

Admittedly, I read Bicycling magazine for the fodder. After getting a good laugh reading the Style Man (I secretly wish I was the Style Man), I head to the back of the magazine to see what kind of bizarre, non-bike ads were published this month. Usually there is the slightly sleezy pajama gram, the very sleezy pleasure chair (although I haven't seen that one in awhile), engraved snowflake awards, and a whole host of other weird stuff that would make one think most cyclists are closet perverts. Although many stories run through my head about how the pajama gram, pleasure chair, and engraved snowflake awards are most likely related, the one that keeps catching my eye is the Rosette Stone ad.


It doesn't pique my curiosity because I want to learn Italian, I can hardly speak English. It catches my eye because I want to know the story behind it. "He was a hardworking farm boy. She was an Italian supermodel. He knew he would have just one chance to impress her." How does this not make you want to go to their site and learn the story? Did they meet on the internet? Was he a bike messenger who arranged a race against her on her skateboard? Is she visiting his small village on a humanitarian mission? Was she from a small village herself and her mom keeps pressuring her to marry a small town boy? Is he going for an interview? Could this be the elusive BikeSnobNYC?

But beyond that, I want to know how this comes out? Did he learn Italian so well with the Rosetta Stone that they are now a couple? Or did his fluency of the Rosette Stone-inspired Italian impress her while his rambling on about having to pay $12 for a hamburger in the big city turn her off? Did he land the job at the supermodel agency? Did he get the grant for his hog farm? Is the rest of his life in color now or is he still black and white holding a bright yellow box? This ad really makes me want to know! But unfortunately, it's just an ad, I've been all over the Rosetta Stone site and there is no mention of the hardworking farmboy or the Italian supermodel. I've been duped, and by an ad no less.