Tuesday, March 24, 2009

New parts, drool with me!



I found this beauty on BikeHugger.com, which is a damn fine read, head on over there when you are done here. They may have just found the newest bling component for charity rides, unless the triathletes get to them first, all it needs is an endorsement from a major coaching organization.

The marketing hype on these beauties are below:

"Power-curved cranks use the design of golden spiral ratio, which create more pedaling efficiency than traditional cranks can provide, so that no matter bike lovers or normal riders can enjoy more fun of speed and comfortable riding."

Golden spiral ratio, now that sounds very magical, as does more fun of speed. But as I sat there staring at these no upper dead point power curved cranks, I began to formulate my own design in my head, one that would be even more magical than the golden spiral ratio. As you can probably see, the no upper dead point cranks have a slight power curve, presumably to whip the crank through the upper dead point causing no upper dead point hence the name no upper dead point power curved cranks.

The inventor of PowerCranks Frank Day said on Slowtwitch,
"LOL. What they don't mention is they have simply shifted the dead spot 90º such that it is now at the middle of the downstroke."
Armed with this irrefutable science of shifting the dead spot 90deg, I fired up the BikePartInventor 3000 (aka Microsoft Paint) and am proud to present to you, the lemming no dead point at all cranks, with the design of the lemming titanium spiral ratio!

I figured why stop at the dead point on top? The lemming titanium spiral ratio creates an elastomer spring effect throughout the entire pedalling revolution, virtually elminating any dead point on the whole cycle of pedalling. The lemming does not recommend his lemming titanium spiral ratio no dead point at all cranks on fixed-gears as the perpetual energy of the elastomer spring effect will prevent skidding from taking place, thereby lowering the element of coolness.

Of course, someone already beat me to this rad design, but no matter, my design is far superior.



I realized the need for these as I was reading my daily fitness spam, apparently many cyclists are out wasting their efforts on riding for fun, riding to work, and just plain riding. If we could get rid of these wasted efforts, we sure could have more fun of speed! I'm looking for other ways at home to rid myself of wasted efforts, I only flush the toilet once a week now. I've started carrying a pedometer to make sure I take the least number of steps to my destination unless I have a goal in mind, any extra step would be a wasted effort without data. And when I read books I'm now doing it while holding a stopwatch, I want to make sure I can read each page just as fast or faster than the last. As a famous person once said, "you gotta have data and goals".

One commenter on BikeHugger.com suggested hooking a pair of these no upper dead point power curved cranks up with Sheldon Brown's POWerwheels, now that would be a winning no dead point combo that is sure to have no wasted efforts!

The Inventor of POWerwheels,
Sheldon "Bubba" Brown
POWerwheel
George Brown photo

4 comments:

Stevil said...

Nike has already filed a lawsuit.

BikeLemming said...

The golden swoosh ratio!

Joe Tysoe said...

Or there is this seat..

http://www.momentumplanet.com/blog/ronrich/testicles-relaxing-or-eye-catching-ad-bike-saddle

BikeLemming said...

Wow! Look at the seat brackets on those beasts!